My Great Day Goes Wrong

June 3, 2011

Ok, except for all day right sided head pain, left knee pain, and a night terror, I have been having Three Very Wonderful Days, and enjoying them to the fullest. Eating, walking, writing, and today the ladies came for lunch and to play cards and I was having a great time.

But there was the dread night terror last night which because of the auditory aspect, the loud crack sound waking me up, makes me think it did originate in the right side of my head, right temporal lobe (hey, maybe there is a jack in the box in the right side of my head? Is there a treatment for Jack-In-The Box-Head?!) but even so it was a nice day, until late afternoon, after I had been sitting a few hours and playing cards, I began to feel an increase in pressure and pain on the right side, and it did begin to shoot pain around the back of my head to the left side and the crackling sound was growing louder…and gland in right side of my neck seemed swollen, and pressure behind right ear)

'Migraine?' I wondered. 'But why? Seizure? But do seizures present with head pain?'

I have this right side issue everyday, and when we ladies got up and walked outside to say goodbye and my mate joined us, I could tell how bad I was getting and quickly.

It was hard for me to keep from blacking out.
As I stood there and talked to my mate and friends, it was like I was in a dream, and they were very far away, and I knew that I knew them but I was somewhat removed and couldnt quite place them, and I was dizzy and disconnected, distracted, and there is like a roar and a rush in my head, a crackle, and I fight to stay connected, and in the conversation, but my depth perception is off and I have tunnel vision and everything is strange.

Then my friends leave and I am pretty sure I will just black-out, it’s like my brain can't get oxygen. I can’t stay conscious, and then I feel anxious, like heart is fluttery a little, and its almost like I cannot breathe exactly right, but I make myself breathe deeply and slowly,

But the R side head pressure is so intense, crackling is intense, and I feel slightly dizzy and off kilter, I am going to black-out and fall down. So much pressure in right side of head, pressured but hollow.

I don’t know what to do. Consider Imitrex or Klonopin but afraid to take anything that might make me more drowsy or tired as I am already almost blacking out, and I think what I really need more of is adrenaline.

I opt to walk and I am afraid I will pass out and or fall and hit my head but if I don’t keep moving I really do feel I will pass out, so my mate walks with me, and it helps a little.

This is a primary medicine for me, to walk, to pump blood through me, to force self to stay awake.

The legs are the pump for the heart. Stay active as you can! Pump life into your body, and your life dreams.

I am very aware of things though, like my feet touching the ground, and my gait. I feel like a walking stick figure. A weird kind of self consciousness. I catch my own arm and hand out of corner of my eye and am like, 'What is that?' Alarmed feeling.

Have to hold the rails in the house to keep from falling up or down the stairs.

Drink two glasses of water, eat some meat, sit still and then feel better.

I think there is something very wrong in my right temporal lobe, maybe my amygdala.
And I think they need to be further imaged. And fixed.

It feels like something crumpled in there. Something that was smooth paper has been forced into origami.

And yeah, head my hurts. There is pain.

I think, ‘you know what? This is the thing that will kill me-,
If they cant fix it.’


3 hours later: and I start feeling better. Head still hurts but not quite so neurologically bizarre, and not totally blacking out.
Am I going to live through this? Outlast this?
And if so, how?

4 hours later: Thank heavens. I am neurologically “normal” again. Crackling right side-headed pain, but that is all.